Well, I have to say, it's been quite tense here. He got home Tuesday night and of course we didn't acknowledge each other. For a couple of days now we just pass each other as if we're not there, the only time we interact is if we are in the kitchen cooking at the same time, then it's the polite forced "excuse me" etc etc etc (although this morning he made sure I was done cooking before entering the kitchen.)
Also, as soon as he dirties a dish he puts it in the dishwasher. If he is trying to prove that the dirty dishes are all mine it's not gonna happen because I'm doing the same. So that's a plus. But of course I came home on the really beautiful warm day (Thursday) and the windows were open and I thought I was in the wild west because there were tumbleweeds of fur rolling across our floor. I made sure one rolled right into Art's room...
Yesterday (Friday) I had a moment where I almost lost it. I had arranged for the landlord to take the last two month's rent out of my security deposit (I think I had already shared that with you). Yesterday I get a text from him:
Landlord: I just talked to Art. He said that $825 of the security deposit is his. That being said, I should be expecting April rent from you, right?
Me: *shaking from anger* Not true. I will clear things up for him.
Me to Art: When we moved in I payed the security deposit and the first month's rent. You paid me half of the first month's rent (the money you just gave me) but we had agreed you didn't have to pay me the half of the security one because you couldn't afford it and two because I would just get it all back at the end of our lease so it's not like I'd lose any money.
Art: I completely forgot about that I thought I was paying back half of the security deposit. Okay sorry that one slipped my mind.
I forwarded both to the landlord and said: I have both cancelled checks to show I paid them both and he can tell you what he just paid me back if you need to verify more.
Landlord: Ok, sounds good.
I was left shaking and full of adrenaline. I seriously thought Art was going to try to screw me over and take my money. I'm glad he realized his mistake.
I know it's mean but I'm glad I'm now not the only one that is uncomfortable here. I'm glad I'm not the only one that is avoiding being home. It should only be fair. We are both, of course, still being nice to the boys, although I think Art is doing a better job of it than me to be honest. I will work on it.
I did notice Art actually showered today, and the other night I almost fell off my chair because he actually brushed his teeth before bed.
51 days until the lease is up. I feel like time is ticking and I'm not nearly as prepared as I should be. I need to start packing and I need to start looking at places... even the ones I'm not expecting to be nice... I don't want April to get here and then me not have a plan.
One of my very bestest school buddies told me this on Thursday when I was freaking out: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." That is so true. Lately I feel like my "elephant" is too much to "eat" that I don't know where to start or if I'll be able to handle it... but I can only do it one bite at a time. It will all work out.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
My breaking point...
So I came home today (Tuesday) after leaving Monday morning, and I came home to a sink full of dishes and a sticky toilet seat. Not tiny little sprinkle drops - big fat drops. Ok yes, most of the dishes in the sink were mine, but they weren't all mine, BUT I figured if I'm going to be the only one to clean the bathroom, then he is going to be in charge of the kitchen. Well of course that's not how it worked. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher tonight, I had JUST cleaned the bathroom on Sunday.
So... today is the day I exploded. Some of you heard most of this already, but for those of you that didn't, this is how it went:
Me: Seriously you need to remember to put up the seat when you pee... I'm tired of cleaning the toilet seat before I use it every time.
Art: Sorry. You're vastly out-numbered, ya know. But yay you're cleaning!
Me: Actually it was all you because the boys weren't here yesterday plus you're the only one that pees out sugar, leaving a sticky residue. And I already cleaned the toilet on Sunday... someone has to do it.
Art: I never said it wasn't *me* I just said you were outnumbered. But your chemical analysis is fascinating. Do you put on latex gloves before you check for stickiness?
Me: Nope, I sat on it once. Never made that mistake again. You can see it's sticky. Looks like drops of dried syrup. You should look into patenting that as an adhesive then you will have lots of money - yay!
Art: Well it doesn't work very well. You managed to get up. Hey if I pee in other places around the house will you clean there too?
Me: Don't start with the cleaning because besides your room you don't lift a finger. Your dog's hair is in balls under everything until I clean it - oh and btw I'm here half the time you are so it's your filth.
Me: You used to have the wipies out when you cooked at the condo yet here you drop a whole pizza upside down in my oven and you don't even scrape the chunks out. I've noticed you cleaned the bathroom once since living here - and you having your 6 year old do it doesn't count cuz he cleans... well like a 6 year old. About as well as you do. My space is dusty and messy but I'm not dirty like you... Seriously a monster could crawl out of the toilet and you wouldn't care. Hey is the sticky pee to keep them trapped on the toilet? Hey look at that, you have a real superpower after all.
Art: Wow. That was a pretty nasty tirade. Managed to use my diabetes, my son and my like for coming books all in one rant.
Me: I toned it down...
Art: It was impressive. Feel better?
Me: Maybe. But can you please clean up after you use the toilet?
Art: I'm not sure your presentation deserves the respect of a response. We have a month and a half left. Let's leave it at that.
Me: Well I also don't deserve to clean up someone else's pee so me or my son don't sit on it. that seems common courtesy to me. 55 days to be exact.
Me again: And don't worry - I'm avoiding being here as much as possible. If I could move this weekend I would.
Art: I apologized, I tried to keep it light and fun. I don't want to fight with you or say mean things to you. I'm a little taken back at how hateful you're being.
Me: Your sarcastic apology doesn't count lol I'm not being hateful I'm just at wits end and need my own space as soon as humanly possible.
Art: I'm sorry. And if that isn't your idea of 'hateful' comments I'm afraid to really make you mad. Of course there was still my daughter and my writing left.
I didn't reply... he should be home soon. Wonder what that's gonna be like.
UGH!!!!!! My heart was beating so fast I was so mad I swear if I could have walked out and never come back I would have. I can't take this anymore...
55 days left... Will I survive??? WILL HE?
So... today is the day I exploded. Some of you heard most of this already, but for those of you that didn't, this is how it went:
Me: Seriously you need to remember to put up the seat when you pee... I'm tired of cleaning the toilet seat before I use it every time.
Art: Sorry. You're vastly out-numbered, ya know. But yay you're cleaning!
Me: Actually it was all you because the boys weren't here yesterday plus you're the only one that pees out sugar, leaving a sticky residue. And I already cleaned the toilet on Sunday... someone has to do it.
Art: I never said it wasn't *me* I just said you were outnumbered. But your chemical analysis is fascinating. Do you put on latex gloves before you check for stickiness?
Me: Nope, I sat on it once. Never made that mistake again. You can see it's sticky. Looks like drops of dried syrup. You should look into patenting that as an adhesive then you will have lots of money - yay!
Art: Well it doesn't work very well. You managed to get up. Hey if I pee in other places around the house will you clean there too?
Me: Don't start with the cleaning because besides your room you don't lift a finger. Your dog's hair is in balls under everything until I clean it - oh and btw I'm here half the time you are so it's your filth.
Me: You used to have the wipies out when you cooked at the condo yet here you drop a whole pizza upside down in my oven and you don't even scrape the chunks out. I've noticed you cleaned the bathroom once since living here - and you having your 6 year old do it doesn't count cuz he cleans... well like a 6 year old. About as well as you do. My space is dusty and messy but I'm not dirty like you... Seriously a monster could crawl out of the toilet and you wouldn't care. Hey is the sticky pee to keep them trapped on the toilet? Hey look at that, you have a real superpower after all.
Art: Wow. That was a pretty nasty tirade. Managed to use my diabetes, my son and my like for coming books all in one rant.
Me: I toned it down...
Art: It was impressive. Feel better?
Me: Maybe. But can you please clean up after you use the toilet?
Art: I'm not sure your presentation deserves the respect of a response. We have a month and a half left. Let's leave it at that.
Me: Well I also don't deserve to clean up someone else's pee so me or my son don't sit on it. that seems common courtesy to me. 55 days to be exact.
Me again: And don't worry - I'm avoiding being here as much as possible. If I could move this weekend I would.
Art: I apologized, I tried to keep it light and fun. I don't want to fight with you or say mean things to you. I'm a little taken back at how hateful you're being.
Me: Your sarcastic apology doesn't count lol I'm not being hateful I'm just at wits end and need my own space as soon as humanly possible.
Art: I'm sorry. And if that isn't your idea of 'hateful' comments I'm afraid to really make you mad. Of course there was still my daughter and my writing left.
I didn't reply... he should be home soon. Wonder what that's gonna be like.
UGH!!!!!! My heart was beating so fast I was so mad I swear if I could have walked out and never come back I would have. I can't take this anymore...
55 days left... Will I survive??? WILL HE?
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Nightmares...
First let me just tell you a little story I just remembered about my oven. I'm only reminded of it because he is using my oven now.
When Art had his own place and I'd go over to hang out, he'd cook and as he cooked he'd have his Lysol disinfecting wipes out and he'd be wiping the stove. (This is what I thought I was moving in with when I agreed to move in with him.) A few months ago I went to open the oven door (my stove/oven, btw - I brought it with me when we moved in) and saw a HUGE GLOP of stuff on the door and on the bottom of the oven. I asked him what it was and he said he had cooked a whole pizza and was trying to balance it on 2 spatulas and it fell completely upside down on the oven door. So... if in YOUR place you can wipe up every small splatter as soon as it happens as you're cooking, why do you leave GLOBS of melted cheese on MY oven door/bottom when you're an idiot and try to balance a whole hot pizza on two spatulas????? It makes me so mad. Seriously.
So this morning I had a dream... or maybe a nightmare. In it I complained about Art not cleaning as much as I did (the toilet is disgusting, you should see it - seriously WHY can't he clean it???? Why do I have to do it every time???) and then I saw him enter my room and come out with a folded t-shirt looking thing. I only half saw it out of the corner of my eye because I was doing something else. So I eventually go into my room and look in my closet and he had installed a rod halfway down my closet and his stuff was in there. When I confronted him about it he laughed and said "I wondered how long it'd take you to notice that. If we're going to do everything 50/50 then I want half of everything, including your closet."
At that point I went OFF on him and told him that I shouldn't have to clean as much as him (and definitely NOT MORE) because I was barely home - about half time or less at this point - and that the disgusting bathroom filth is all his, and that HE was the one that peed STICKY SUGAR which made everything disgustingly gross, and he was the one with the disgusting hairy dog, etc etc etc!!!
In my dream I was screaming at him so hard that I would run out of breath while I still had things to say so I was trying to word things with no breath (think Ace Ventura when he sucks in a deep breath and then tells the rich guy with the guano what he thinks happened based on what he observed.)
I was so mad that I woke up full of anger. I'd say this is definitely not healthy.
And the very MOST there are 58 days left and then I will be at peace... Ohm... Ohm... OHM...
When Art had his own place and I'd go over to hang out, he'd cook and as he cooked he'd have his Lysol disinfecting wipes out and he'd be wiping the stove. (This is what I thought I was moving in with when I agreed to move in with him.) A few months ago I went to open the oven door (my stove/oven, btw - I brought it with me when we moved in) and saw a HUGE GLOP of stuff on the door and on the bottom of the oven. I asked him what it was and he said he had cooked a whole pizza and was trying to balance it on 2 spatulas and it fell completely upside down on the oven door. So... if in YOUR place you can wipe up every small splatter as soon as it happens as you're cooking, why do you leave GLOBS of melted cheese on MY oven door/bottom when you're an idiot and try to balance a whole hot pizza on two spatulas????? It makes me so mad. Seriously.
So this morning I had a dream... or maybe a nightmare. In it I complained about Art not cleaning as much as I did (the toilet is disgusting, you should see it - seriously WHY can't he clean it???? Why do I have to do it every time???) and then I saw him enter my room and come out with a folded t-shirt looking thing. I only half saw it out of the corner of my eye because I was doing something else. So I eventually go into my room and look in my closet and he had installed a rod halfway down my closet and his stuff was in there. When I confronted him about it he laughed and said "I wondered how long it'd take you to notice that. If we're going to do everything 50/50 then I want half of everything, including your closet."
At that point I went OFF on him and told him that I shouldn't have to clean as much as him (and definitely NOT MORE) because I was barely home - about half time or less at this point - and that the disgusting bathroom filth is all his, and that HE was the one that peed STICKY SUGAR which made everything disgustingly gross, and he was the one with the disgusting hairy dog, etc etc etc!!!
In my dream I was screaming at him so hard that I would run out of breath while I still had things to say so I was trying to word things with no breath (think Ace Ventura when he sucks in a deep breath and then tells the rich guy with the guano what he thinks happened based on what he observed.)
I was so mad that I woke up full of anger. I'd say this is definitely not healthy.
And the very MOST there are 58 days left and then I will be at peace... Ohm... Ohm... OHM...
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